The Trump and Putin Summit Meeting
Following the historical meeting between Donald Trump and his new good buddy Kim Jong Un, another mob boss/world leader type got jealous and Skyped me. Feeling left out, he wanted a Trump and Putin summit.
“Hello again, Señor Bueno.”
“Vladimir Putin? Haven’t heard from you lately. Lemme ask you something? Don’t you ever wear a shirt?”
“I like people to see my manly physique.”
“Well, I’m glad the Donald keeps his shirt on. I do not wanna see those man boobs. Jesus…”
“Really? I kind of like them myself. More to squeeze, you know what I mean?”
“Let’s change the subject. What’s up?”
“My anger, that’s what.”
“Ah, I get it. You’re pissed off about the Donald finding a new best friend in North Korea, aren’t you?”
“Da, you know we have a thing. I like a man who’s faithful. Who does as he’s told.”
At this point, Putin showed me a photo of Donald doing as he’s told:
“Yeah, I know. Too bad he’s our President.”
“Not for me! That whole immigration crisis worked out just as planned.”
“Wait a second, you were behind that?”
“Da. You think your president is evil enough to kidnap children?”
“I hate to say this, but yeah. I mean, he doesn’t have to listen to your advice.”
“If he wants to get re-elected he does. Of course, he’ll have to continue following my vision for our country.”
“What do you mean our country?”
“It’s only a matter of time.”
“What’s this vision?”
“To make Trump and the U.S. seem so deplorable, so despicable, that my policies seem benign. To speed things up, I’m making him fly to Helsinki.”
“A Trump and Putin summit? So, it’s not to make the world a better place?”
“Heh heh, depends if you’re a billionaire despot or not.”
“I’ll take that as a no. Are you inviting Kim Jong Un as well?”
“Hmm, are you suggesting a new Axis of Evil? I love it! Have you run it by the Donald yet?”
“What? No, I haven’t run it by the Donald.”
“In that case, I will. Thanks for the idea, Mikey. I’ll be sure to give you credit in the history books.”
“Please don’t do that. I was being sarcastic.”
“You don’t want to be infamous?”
“You kidding? I already am. I think you got the wrong impression from my comment about Kim.”
“It’s a matter of perspective, is it not? Anyway, don’t worry about me manipulating your president, you need to concentrate on your writing.”
“I would if you maniacs would quit Skyping me. On another note, I’d sleep a lot better if you guys would play nice with the world.”
“Playing nice is not what the Axis of Evil does. Enough about the Trump and Putin summit. Tell me, when is your next book coming out?”
Maui Wowee is coming soon!
“Maui Wowee is coming out around Sept 1st, give or take.”
“Excellent. I can’t wait to join your Maui Wowee Launch Team!”
“Thanks. You really enjoyed Kona Gold, didn’t you?”
“Da, thanks for sending it. That stuff is da kine, brah.”
“It sure is, but I meant my book.”
“Of course. I love all your books. Breaking Good got me hooked. You characters are quirky, your dialogue is hilarious, and best of all, you poke fun at your government, show them for the hypocrites they are. Heh heh, I’d like to see you try that here.”
“That’s exactly what Kim Jong Un told me. Then showed me a picture of his favorite anti-aircraft gun.”
“You have to love his style! To thank you for the Axis of Evil idea, I’ll force everyone in Russia to read Maui Wowee when it’s launched. Of course they’ll have to give up food that week for the privilege, but imagine how many reviews you’d get.”
“I’m not sure they’d be good. A few million one-star reviews will not get me out of a jam with Jeff Bezos.”
“What’s his beef with you?”
“Aw, he’s pissed I give so many books away. Wants me to sell them so he can his cut. I guess 100 billion isn’t enough for him.”
“Well, I do owe you a favor or two. You want me to, ahem, do something about Bezos? I could have his rocket explode, something like that.”
“Hmm…”
“Just let me know. Donald would also appreciate it.”
“Because Jeff kidnapped Melania?”
“No, because of the Post Office thing.”
“Ah, right. On second thought, you better not.”
“Your such a pacifist.”
“That’s me. Do me a favor, Vlad. Don’t do me any favors. Not unless it involves not sending that new Super Nuke our way.”
“Too late, you already said no favors.”
Oh boy, I guess we’ll all have to cross our fingers and hope for the best from the Trump and Putin summit. Considering how the Great Negotiator did with a deranged Third World tyrant, things don’t look great for the U.S. or the rest of the free world.
If you haven’t already grabbed a free copy of Breaking Good and seen what the world leaders read in their spare time, what are you waiting for? Before long, it might be too late.
Grab a free copy of Breaking Good, right here, right now.
For a fun peek inside Breaking Good, click here.
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